rare peace

I often can't believe how much of the time spent with my children is conflict, and how stressful that is. They are three years apart, and boys, and high-wired and competitive, the result I guess of which is that they constantly fight each other. I've had to pull over several times while driving and pull them out of the car for time outs. They also oppose me and their dad on every possible issue -- brushing teeth, eating vegetables, doing homework, getting up, going to sleep, taking a bath, it seems none occurs without vast expenditures of emotional energy. One of my arguments in the Mommy Brain is that parents can learn from these experiences -- and I actually do believe that -- but I deeply understand why many moms are often simply too exhausted to care, as I, too often, am too.
That's why it was so great the other Saturday morning, after my husband took my younger son off to his violin lesson (he had, bless him, let me sleep late and even brought in some coffee and the Times) when my older son, Joey, came in and I looked at him peacefully and said, "You'll find out when you're an adult that there's almost nothing better than reading the paper with coffee in bed on a cold morning." He snuggled next to me and we discussed the headlines for the next 20 minutes or so. I have to keep these moments in my memory as I slog through the much more difficult ones, each day, every day....